Quote #695
Ruth: Argh! Why is my code deciding to represent 28 over 7 as a fraction?
Dan: Um, because it\'s pi?
Ruth: No... it\'s 4...
created: 2008-12-02 22:13:25 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #694
Ruth: (staring at code) Fifty-over-one?
Dan: Are you sure you aren\'t dividing by Friday again?
created: 2008-12-01 22:08:24 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #690
On men
Ruth_Varley: Why are all the cute ones taken?
Jen_Banks: Uhhh, because you took two of them?
created: 2008-11-11 09:52:13 by MattInTheHat @ RockMonkey
Quote #689
Annie: Ivan the Terrible wasn't evil.
[[RuthVarley Ruth]: I thought he impaled people?
Annie: That was Vlad the Impaler...
created: 2008-11-04 03:50:10 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #687
Claire: Why does a pillow cost £30?
Ruth: Maybe it's made out of babies.
created: 2008-10-24 02:47:56 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #686
Ruth: You're so wrong! It's like you took right, and turned it inside out, and wore it as a coat, or something!
created: 2008-10-24 02:27:45 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #685
Ruth: Why are you testing on live?
Dan: I'm not testing on live!
Ruth: Then why did you say you weren't?
created: 2008-10-22 13:35:39 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #682
JTA and some girlare discussing the taste of semen and have been for aaaaaages
Ruth: You two have loads of stuff in common and this is what you bond over? Semen?!?
created: 2008-10-13 13:45:58 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #681
Ruth draws a picture on the whiteboard
Ruth: This... is what our development process looks like.
Dan: It looks like Mickey Mouse, wearing Mickey Mouse ears.
Ruth goes on to explain what the diagram means
Dan: So is that good, or bad?
Ruth: Yes, I think so.
created: 2008-10-08 12:09:21 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #667
< F_Widget> I'll just carry right on proofreading text that users van view. what can piossibly go wrong?
created: 2008-08-21 04:24:29 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #663
Ruth: Dan's neck smells good.
Claire: It's alright, I guess. It smells of Dan, which means you can tell he hasn't transformed into someone else without telling me.
Ruth: Are you telling me that smelling his neck is the only way you can tell?
Claire: Well, it's a clue.
created: 2008-08-10 11:26:28 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #638
Claire has been talking about extradition laws
<Ava_Home> [citation needed]
<F_Widget> Ava_Home: Bringing moderation to #rockmonkey
<F_Widget> Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd type
created: 2008-07-04 03:16:12 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #632
JTA: There wasn't any black pudding in that breakfast! I've just had a vegetarian breakfast!
Ruth: But there was loads of bacon and sausages and things...
JTA: There wasn't any pig's blood. That makes it vegetarian.
created: 2008-05-21 15:43:58 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #624
Ruth: There's no such thing as invisible things. Except for things that are invisible... but they DON'T INCLUDE TOWELS.
created: 2008-05-21 15:01:18 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #611
during a discussion about going and watching a show involving lesbians
Dan: Yeah, I could manage a lesbian.
Ruth: Well, I could manage two lesbians.
Claire: I could manage three lesbians.
Ruth: And I could manage four lesbians.
Claire: Lick that thing!
(reference to "Eat That Thing!" - a game and a Chez Geek card)
created: 2008-05-21 14:40:33 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #608
Ruth: I always like the sound of "making love." It sounds like "sex," but... with cake!
created: 2008-05-21 14:36:49 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #589
Ruth: Can I drive?
JTA: No, you've been drinking!
Ruth: Erm, no I haven't.
JTA: Oh, right, yes. That was me.
created: 2008-04-16 15:17:05 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #588
JTA: They've... release Super Monkey Ball for the iPhone.
Ruth: My God. We've reached the pinnacle of Gay.
created: 2008-04-15 16:16:49 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #587
Ruth: These jeans came from Debenhams.
Dan: Are you sure? The label on them says "Pineapple."
Claire: Could that be the washing instructions? Is there a picture of a pineapple too?
created: 2008-04-13 07:15:18 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #586
Dan suggests using his phone and a laptop to connect to the internet on the move
Ruth: By the time you're going on the motorway, won't you be going too fast for the... signal... fairies... to keep up with you?
created: 2008-04-13 07:13:00 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #585
Talking about clubs at Aber Students Union
Ruth: Is there a disabled people's club?
Claire: There's an afro-carribean club. That's similar.
created: 2008-04-11 12:16:48 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #583
About to go to the Cottage
Ruth: I'm really not with it, today.
JTA: O dear. D'you want to take soft drinks?
Ruth: Uhm. no, thanks. I'm back on that whole "not drinking alcohol during the week" thing...
created: 2008-04-07 12:39:27 by MisterJTA @ RockMonkey
Quote #582
Ruth: C'mon, even armageddon has a good side!
Chris Cooke: You mean like, it's the end of the world, but everyone gets cake?
created: 2008-04-07 07:22:39 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #572
MisterJTA: Nipples! Drink!
RuthVarley: Didn't we already see those nipples?
DanQ: This is why trainspotting is better than lesbian porn. All trains have numbers.
created: 2008-03-10 06:31:03 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #569
<F_Widget> [dan]THEYSAY £ HR
<F_Widget> Sry, hi caplok
* Ava_Home watches Ruth turn into a lolcat
created: 2008-03-04 17:30:36 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #566
(To Penny)
Ruth: I'm disturbed, and I'm not even you!
created: 2008-03-03 15:19:39 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #565
ClaireQ: If you breed an American Indian and an Indian American, do you have a 50/50 chance of getting an American American or an Indian Indian?
(laughter)
Ruth: It's a good point though....
created: 2008-03-03 15:15:56 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #562
Ruth: Oh my God, it's five past twelve. I need to go home.
Claire: My nipples tell you this?
created: 2008-02-28 16:08:52 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #560
RuthVarley: People are always integer quantities. Unless they're cripples, obviously...
created: 2008-02-25 14:40:58 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #558
Ruth: I fixed the fix that fixed the fix. Then I fixed the fixtures.
created: 2008-02-21 13:12:39 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #557
Ruth: Working with Enterprise Java is like having an extra person on your team who hates you and wants your project to fail.
created: 2008-02-20 13:15:07 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #556
Ruth and JTA are talking about when they first met
JTA: Actually, out of the people in Block 9 I would probably have talked to me, too. But only because I would have gone: "Hey, someone else with a waistcoat!".
created: 2008-02-20 13:14:09 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #553
Ruth: Now we have to make up more quotes about self-harm, and Claire will have to say something racist about it.
Dan: Like how she wishes the Jews would self-harm, or something.
Claire: Circumcision *is* self-harm!
created: 2008-02-14 11:02:24 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #550
Ruth: If you're trying not to get your hair wet, why are you wearing a bra?
created: 2008-02-12 14:38:14 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #548
Ruth Varley: I don't understand the thing that everyone has for Willow. Sure, she looks kinda hot, but she's just so wet...
created: 2008-02-10 15:30:22 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #537
Dan (looking at his web browser cookies): Hmm. I have some weird cookies.
Ruth: You *do* have a weird cock... I mean... COOKies.
created: 2008-01-17 14:23:18 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #536
Ruth: You look like you're sleepy. Or a zombie. You either need to sleep or to be decapitated.
Dan: Let's try one, and failing that, try the other.
Ruth: Which shall we try first?
created: 2008-01-17 02:54:11 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #535
Ruth: What use is an invisible towel? That'll never get anything dry!
created: 2008-01-17 02:50:35 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #533
Ruth: There is no rational explanation that doesn't involve pixies.
created: 2008-01-15 04:27:09 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #532
Ruth: Nothing I say is profound. Sometimes people hear profanities, but it's not my fault.
created: 2008-01-15 04:25:20 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #531
Ruth:Pfft. Optical illusion. Like those are real.
created: 2008-01-15 04:23:25 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #530
Ruth: Ooh, an envelope! Ooh, it smells of paper!
created: 2008-01-15 04:00:50 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #512
Ruth: It must be horrible being a paedophile
Paul: Well, I imagine it's quite fun until you're caught...
created: 2008-01-08 12:37:07 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #504
More of the usual level of crudeness...
Amy: I kissed Ruth, and then Dan splashed all over me.
JTA: And her trousers got wet.
created: 2008-01-06 10:06:42 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #501
Dan: What're we going to eat on Christmas Day?
JTA: Goose!
Claire: Duck! Duck! GOOSE!
Ruth: What about something vegetarian?
(everybody slowly turns to look at Ruth with a collaborative "hey, SHE's something vegetarian" look)
Dan: That's right: on Christmas Day, everybody will eat Ruth!
Ruth: Paul won't like it...
created: 2008-01-06 10:03:13 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #491
(discussing the situations in which it is acceptable to use a balloon whisk)
Ruth: Well... why would you be using a balloon whisk if you weren't making cake?
Claire: You might be... whisking... cabbage?
created: 2008-01-06 09:47:35 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #487
Ruth: You're all made of elbows. Well, your elbow is.
created: 2008-01-04 10:57:33 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #482
Ruth: Can you not tell her hands from mine? I can!
created: 2008-01-01 16:23:05 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #481
Dan: Anyone want some hurple tea?
Ruth: Hurple tea?
Dan: Yeah.
Ruth: Isn't it herbal tea?
Dan: What did I say?
Ruth: Hurple.
Dan: Oh, do you know why? It's because it's in a purple box.
created: 2008-01-01 14:31:00 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #473
Ruth: If God had meant us to be monogamous, why would he have given us two hands?
Claire: Because you need one hand to drive.
created: 2007-12-23 13:05:14 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #471
After suggesting going for a walk and being met with mostly negative responses
Ruth:What are you going to do if you stay in, you're just gonna sit there, and stare at the... Oh my God, I've turned into a grownup!
created: 2007-12-23 06:18:42 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #455
Ruth:Aww, I need a thing to put in that hole. I don't have a thing. That makes me sad.
created: 2007-12-13 07:34:10 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #452
JTA Reading a news headline over Ruth's shoulder:"Black given 6 years???!?"
Ruth: Conrad.
JTA: Oh. Right. Of course.
created: 2007-12-10 15:14:28 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #451
Ruth: It must be really difficult to become addicted to things that can kill you.
created: 2007-12-10 10:45:57 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #447
Talking about word disassociation games.
Ruth: I think there's a link between "mead" and "brown." After all, they're the same colour.
Lizzie: Mead is a colour?
created: 2007-12-08 09:36:07 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #445
Dan: *ring ring* *ring ring* *ring ring*
Ruth: Wait! I don't know how to pick you up!
created: 2007-12-07 03:20:34 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #442
Dan: Ruth: Female Genital Expert.
Claire: Fem... ital... SPURT!
created: 2007-12-07 03:17:26 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #434
Ruth: I think that killing Jews is wrong.
Claire: I think it depends upon the Jew.
created: 2007-12-05 14:14:14 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #433
Claire is holding a chocolate log at arms length.
Dan: What are you planning on doing with that?
Claire: I'm going to hold it until somebody takes it away and does something with it.
Ruth: I'd recommend putting it on a plate and chopping bits off it with a knife.
Paul: Then put it on a higher plate and worship it.
All eyes turn to Paul. Paul is silent.
created: 2007-12-05 13:51:23 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #429
Ruth:Not everyone is as geniusy as me.
created: 2007-12-04 02:28:04 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #428
Ruth:It wouldn't be Christmas if we didn't all taste of glue!
created: 2007-12-04 02:19:54 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #425
Ruth: Nothing I'm saying tonight makes sense. I should just stop talking.
Paul: It's ok, I'm ignoring you.
created: 2007-12-03 11:04:45 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #414
Ruth turns away from computer source code, dejected, and mopes accross the room.
Ruth: That's it. I'm sick of breaking things.
*tinkle* *crash* as Ruth walks into a wine glass
created: 2007-11-29 14:27:25 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #411
RuthVarley: I'm sorry; raw dripping organs just don't do it for me... well... not internal ones.
created: 2007-11-29 01:19:48 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #405
Ruth Varley: I don't care about the plot, I just want to jump on stuff.
created: 2007-11-26 11:09:38 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #404
RuthVarley: Hey! I know about things that aren't sex!
created: 2007-11-26 11:01:23 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #393
Claire Q: Has Ruth bought new boots yet?
Paul Mann: Ruth has lots of boots!
Claire Q: No, walking boots, not poke-JTA-in-the-nipple boots.
created: 2007-11-20 06:12:30 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #391
Ruth Varley:Your food smells like making me hungry.
created: 2007-11-19 11:50:35 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #386
RuthVarley: Thinking about masturbation causes you pain?
JMisterJTA emphatically : It does the way he (DanQ) does it!
created: 2007-11-18 11:57:46 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #384
RuthVarley is playing Tenchu...
RuthVarley Man, another dead thing! Seriously, I don't know how you're meant to do this level unless you've brought the swords that kill dead things! Hey... that would have been a good idea...
created: 2007-11-16 13:22:04 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #381
Ruth Varley: I don't have anything in my hand right now, I should put alcohol in it! Not, like, intravenously, because that would be wrong.
created: 2007-11-16 09:55:55 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #380
How to make a gramophone quieter
Ruth Varley: You could put something in the horn, like a trumpet. I mean, like you do with a trumpet, not put a trumpet in the horn, because that would be silly.
created: 2007-11-16 09:15:07 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #379
Talking about putting a mobius strip on a record player
Ruth Varley: You'd have to move the strip, not the needle, though.
Paul Mann: But that's how turntables work!
created: 2007-11-16 09:10:37 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #378
RuthVarley: Why aren't pillows made out of breasts?
MisterJTA: Because they'd have to be refrigerated.
created: 2007-11-14 15:09:06 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #376
MisterJTA biting a piece of loose thread off his new hat: This hat doesn't taste as good as my old hat.
RuthVarley: You tasted your old hat?
MisterJTA: No. But it fitted better.
created: 2007-11-12 13:47:01 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #371
Ruth Varley:You can't put nipples in pies.
Dan Q:Why?
Ruth Varley:'Cause you wouldn't have enough forks to eat them with. No... wait, that made sense in my head!
created: 2007-11-11 05:14:54 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #370
Ruth Varley: If I wasn't sleeping with 2 people I'd be monogamous.
created: 2007-11-11 05:11:18 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #366
(after watching Taiko drummers for two hours)
RuthVarley: I've still got a headache.
ClaireQ: When you've got a headache, is there anything worse to sit through than two hours of drumming?
MisterJTA: The holocaust?
created: 2007-11-08 10:34:19 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #359
RuthVarley: Don't leave just because I won't let you diddle my cartilage.
created: 2007-11-06 16:38:49 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #356
RuthVarley: I'm normal. I'm the yardstick. I've always been the yardstick.
ClaireQ: No, you're the metre stick. I'm the yardstick.
created: 2007-11-05 13:04:02 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #355
RuthVarley: I can't be a heroine! I don't have big enough breasts!
created: 2007-11-05 12:44:40 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #337
RuthVarley: Women don't have problems, we cause them.
created: 2007-11-03 08:26:18 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #336
ClaireQ: All women are fickle.
RuthVarley: I'm not fickle.
ClaireQ: Yes you are.
RuthVarley: Oh, ok then.
created: 2007-11-03 08:25:47 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #335
RuthVarley Picking up a small wooden figurine:Huh, what happened to that person?
ClaireQ: That's a pig.
created: 2007-11-03 08:24:43 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #334
RuthVarley: Cancer is carcinogenic.
created: 2007-11-03 08:23:13 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #331
<MattPayne> I agree there really isn't enough lesbian
* RuthVarley (n=RuthVarl@91.84.10.87) has joined #RockMonkey
<Eskoala> summoned
created: 2007-11-01 09:51:43 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #300
* Ava_Work has joined #RockMonkey
<RuthVarle> Boo!
* Ava_Work has quit (EOF From client)
<RuthVarle> Aw, I scared him
created: 2007-11-01 09:22:03 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #298
<Igneous> Ruthvarle you're looking especially shagworthy today
<Ruthvarle> Why, thank you Iggy.
* Ruthvarle goes to find clothes.
created: 2007-11-01 09:20:03 by AbnibQuotes @ RockMonkey
Quote #289
<F_Widget> hehe, can we have a national 'pretend to be chatbots' day?
<Ava_Work> Surfboard!
created: 2007-11-01 09:08:57 by AbnibQuotes @ RockMonkey