Quote #660
Discussing bouncing walnuts off people's heads
Dan: "Walnuts aren't hard, it won't hurt"
Throws walnut at own head
Dan: "Ow."
created: 2008-08-10 11:23:05 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #632
JTA: There wasn't any black pudding in that breakfast! I've just had a vegetarian breakfast!
Ruth: But there was loads of bacon and sausages and things...
JTA: There wasn't any pig's blood. That makes it vegetarian.
created: 2008-05-21 15:43:58 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #621
Dan: Am I more or less fun than cheese?
Claire: What kind of cheese?
created: 2008-05-21 14:58:45 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #611
during a discussion about going and watching a show involving lesbians
Dan: Yeah, I could manage a lesbian.
Ruth: Well, I could manage two lesbians.
Claire: I could manage three lesbians.
Ruth: And I could manage four lesbians.
Claire: Lick that thing!
(reference to "Eat That Thing!" - a game and a Chez Geek card)
created: 2008-05-21 14:40:33 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #608
Ruth: I always like the sound of "making love." It sounds like "sex," but... with cake!
created: 2008-05-21 14:36:49 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #607
Dan: What's that game that the Mayans used to play with their elbows?
JTA: Chocolate.
created: 2008-05-21 14:35:54 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #603
Pennny: It's like when you're trying to spell things with spaghetti - if you don't have alphabet spaghetti, it's just not going to work!
created: 2008-05-19 05:04:45 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #602
Claire: When do you want to barbecue stuff?
Penny: I'm tasty now.
created: 2008-05-19 03:34:53 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #591
Claire: What do you call pickled onions before they're pickled?
Dan: Onions.
Claire: No, that's not right.
Dan: Umm. Yes, it is.
created: 2008-04-23 14:00:42 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #551
ClaireQ: There's nothing nut-like about Pecans. Apart from the fact that they're nuts.
created: 2008-02-13 05:19:54 by RuthVarley @ RockMonkey
Quote #544
SarahSeaton: What's mutton made from?
MattPayne: Lamb
SarahSeaton: I thought it was baby cow...fish.
created: 2008-02-01 09:52:08 by MattPayne @ RockMonkey
Quote #543
Discussing the advantages of Chinese Vs. Indian take-away
PaulMann: This is the problem when your social group grows above... one.
created: 2008-01-28 11:50:04 by MisterJTA @ RockMonkey
Quote #526
Claire: You (Northerners) take food, and you take other food, and you SMOOSH it all together, and then you put it in a PIE! With some CHIPS on the side, and put it all in a BUTTY, and then stick a layer of MASH on the top for good measure!
created: 2008-01-11 11:55:43 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #513
Martine: The vending machines in ladies' toilets should sell food.
Dan: Do you think that would sell?
Martine: Hey: if you can have sex in there, you can eat in there.
created: 2008-01-11 07:45:46 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #510
Beth: I only started eating chicken when I realised that they are just vegetables with legs.
created: 2008-01-07 04:08:26 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #501
Dan: What're we going to eat on Christmas Day?
JTA: Goose!
Claire: Duck! Duck! GOOSE!
Ruth: What about something vegetarian?
(everybody slowly turns to look at Ruth with a collaborative "hey, SHE's something vegetarian" look)
Dan: That's right: on Christmas Day, everybody will eat Ruth!
Ruth: Paul won't like it...
created: 2008-01-06 10:03:13 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #493
Claire (to Dan): Your penis is like The Enormous Turnip. It takes a series of farm animals to pull it out.
created: 2008-01-06 09:50:42 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #491
(discussing the situations in which it is acceptable to use a balloon whisk)
Ruth: Well... why would you be using a balloon whisk if you weren't making cake?
Claire: You might be... whisking... cabbage?
created: 2008-01-06 09:47:35 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #488
Sarah: What are you buying from Argos, then?
Paul: Well, what do you think it is, bearing in mind I know exactly how much it will weigh?
Sarah: Why are you buying a sack of potatoes from Argos?
created: 2008-01-05 10:05:09 by PaulMann @ RockMonkey
Quote #433
Claire is holding a chocolate log at arms length.
Dan: What are you planning on doing with that?
Claire: I'm going to hold it until somebody takes it away and does something with it.
Ruth: I'd recommend putting it on a plate and chopping bits off it with a knife.
Paul: Then put it on a higher plate and worship it.
All eyes turn to Paul. Paul is silent.
created: 2007-12-05 13:51:23 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #391
Ruth Varley:Your food smells like making me hungry.
created: 2007-11-19 11:50:35 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #375
JTA (stroking the sugar off a mince pie): I don't need somebody to lick it for me; I'm quite capable of brushing it off all by myself.
created: 2007-11-11 13:11:55 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #371
Ruth Varley:You can't put nipples in pies.
Dan Q:Why?
Ruth Varley:'Cause you wouldn't have enough forks to eat them with. No... wait, that made sense in my head!
created: 2007-11-11 05:14:54 by ClaireQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #320
<tgb> the middle-eastern way of doing things is to exaggerate everything
<tgb> "that meal was the best meal I've ever had, bar none" as opposed to "yeah, thanks"
<ReaperKit> well that's fine
<ReaperKit> but you'd think they would understand that complmenting a chef is subtly different from nuclear anhiliation
<ReaperKit> unless its Dans chilli
created: 2007-11-01 09:41:20 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #251
(KitLane explains that tinned food has to be sealed in a vacuum)
PaulMann: So tinned hamburgers have to be soaked in something.... Brine?
KitLane: No, they're probably just really tightly packed
PaulMann: What about salt water?
KitLane: That is brine. Muppet.
created: 2007-10-31 14:07:39 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #226
PaulMann: Have CremeEggs got smaller? I'm sure you used to be able to eat them with a spoon. Maybe spoons have got bigger...
created: 2007-10-31 14:01:17 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #211
DanQ: Paul's the only person in the world who can set fire to MicrowavePopcorn.
PaulMann: Anyone can do it. It just takes time.
created: 2007-10-31 13:56:22 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #201
PaulMann is offering ice-cream
ClaireQ: I won't have it now, I'm going to the loo.
RuthVarley: There's also a bath in there...
ClaireQ: ...
RuthVarley: Because you can eat ice-cream in the bath, but you can't eat it on the toilet.
created: 2007-10-31 13:02:53 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #77
DanQ: Claire doesn't like carrot cake.
BeckyHuntley: (to Claire) Have you ever tried carrot cake?
ClaireQ nods
BeckyHuntley: (to Claire) And did you like it?
ClaireQ nods
BeckyHuntley: (to Claire) So... do you like carrot cake?
ClaireQ shakes head
created: 2007-10-31 09:11:35 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #71
ClaireQ: There's gravy on the phone and it makes it sound... beefy.
created: 2007-10-31 09:09:45 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #49
ClaireQ: It seems a bit chavvy to be eating pet food... but it's really nice!
created: 2007-10-31 08:59:45 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #27
After catching sight of a poster for some kittens needing a new home
HeatherCharlton: Do you want a cat?
BrynSalisbury: No thanks, I've already eaten
created: 2007-10-31 08:47:59 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #21
SuzChilestone: I've had an apple, I'm all sugared up!
created: 2007-10-29 04:48:13 by DanQ @ RockMonkey
Quote #17
SuzChilestone: (referring to Chuzzle) If you tickle the big ones it makes them throw up. I thought it would be really disgusting, but it's just stars. I wish when I threw up it was stars instead of, like, Weetabix
created: 2007-10-29 04:47:04 by DanQ @ RockMonkey